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Finn

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DDI : 2016-04-11
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PostSubject: leomil   Sat 9 Jul - 20:21

et t'es parti sans rien dire de plus, t'as tourné la tête, tu m'as même pas regardé une dernière fois, ça m'a tué, ça m'a tué de réaliser que tu faisais semblant de m'en vouloir, t'as fais semblant de t'en foutre et j'ai senti un truc me transpercer le coeur, je sais que je vais te voir pendant plusieurs semaines, tu vas me manquer, plus que n'importe quoi, et y'a rien qui va me réconforter, même pas l'écran de la télé, même pas un verre d'alcool, même pas la came que t'as planqué. je peux pas être heureux quand je sais que t'es pas à côté de moi quand je me réveille le matin. alors j'vais me laisser mourir, lentement, j'vais faire comme si plus personne comptait - c'est le cas -, comme si ma vie n'avait pas de sens, c'est tout. j'perds la notion de la fatigue, je mange plus, je me force à boire de l'eau. j'crève. la dernière chose que j'ai sentie, ces mes larmes couler sur mes joues, et me sentir faible comme ça ça me dégoûte, je me regarde dans le miroir et j'ai envie de m'éclater la gueule, y'a plus rien, y'a plus ta présence, alors y'a plus rien. j'vais vomir. j'vais vomir mes organes, ma tristesse, ma solitude. je me sens coincé dans une pièce entièrement noire. pas d'échappatoires, pas de sorties. rien. rien. rien. rienrienrienrienrienrienrienrienrienrienriereijrienrier emil
emil, j'susi désolé
j'voulais pas t'énerver, j'voulais pas que tu partes
j'voulais rien
j'voulais juste que tu sois heureux mais je sais pas faire
je suis mauvais
un bon à rien, tu sais
ça m'brûle de voir que t'as tourné le dos il y a quelques heures
et même quand j'suis à deux doigts de me jeter par la fenêtre,
j'imagine encore que mon téléphone puisse se déverrouiller, et que je puisse voir "Isaac ♥" écrit dessus.

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Finn

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PostSubject: Re: leomil   Sat 9 Jul - 20:32

je suis rentré plus tôt aujourd'hui, ils m'ont tous cassé les couilles, j'ai fais semblant d'être un bon collègue, tu sais celui qui sourit, qui rit, qui aime son travail, qui reste sérieux. j'ai pu me casser tôt, tant mieux, j'avais envie de te voir, même si t'étais encore assis comme un clampin devant ton écran, idiot, j'en ris d'avance tu vois, j'ai envie d'passer ma main devant tes cheveux alors que je sais que ça va te déranger, j'ai envie de t'faire rire et tout, j'ai juste envie de toi et de rien d'autre. tout est chiant, il fait gris, y'a du monde, des gamins crient, des connasses me bousculent, j'ai oublié mon téléphone, j'ai rien, ça me donne envie de tuer tout le monde, mais j'arrive enfin devant la porte de chez nous, ça me donne moins envie d'mourir, j'ouvre la porte et je t'entends pas, c'est bizarre, d'habitude tu dis des conneries avec tes potes geek, eh, t'es où abruti, putain, je t'ai attendu toute la journée et t'es même pas sous mes yeux là maintenant.
et il a fallu peu de secondes pour que j'me rende compte que t'étais dans les bras d'une fille, à lui faire, putain, je sais pas, j'ai pas envie de savoir, en vrai j'ai juste envie de lui ouvrir la gorge avec un bout de verre, elle te regarde, elle te regarde toi, je vais péter un câble emil, je te jure je vais péter un câble, vous vous êtes transmis le message aujourd'hui? vous vous êtes tous dis "allez, on va faire chier cette petite merde de tony, pour changer tiens, ça va lui faire du bien à ce bâtard"? tu m'as toujours pas remarqué, alors j'entre avec un grand sourire, comme si d'rien était, j'pose mon sac brusquement. « t'as appelé les putes et tu m'as même pas prévenu? »

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PostSubject: Re: leomil   Sun 10 Jul - 0:16

je suis tombé sur cette photo, ça m'a dégoûté, un peu. en fait, t'avais l'air heureux, alors ça m'a arraché un pincement au coeur. c'était qui, à côté?
il a une tête d'abruti.
son sourire est tout tordu.
ses yeux reflètent rien.
il est plus petit que toi.
je l'aime pas. pas du tout.
j'ai retourné la photo, et j'ai reconnu ton écriture. neomil 4 life bby
j'ai froncé les sourcils. crétin. mais quand je t'ai montré la photo, t'as haussé les épaules et tu l'as déchirée sans hésiter. je m'y attendais pas. c'était pas censé être un souvenir que tu chéris? j'suis sûrement qu'un connard, mais ça m'a plu. te voir tracer une croix, comme ça, sur ton passé, ça m'a plu. c'est moi. moi et personne d'autre. pas cette petite merde à côté de toi. y'a que moi, comme y'a que toi.
c'est pas près de changer.


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j'ai mis mon oreille contre la porte, j'ai fermé ma gueule et j'ai écouté.
tu lui disais qu'il fallait qu'il parte. ça lui plaisait pas. il m'insultait, t'insultais, et toi, tu t'énervais.
aaah, isaac, toi, énervé, putain, qu'est-ce que c'est kiffant. j'te vois même pas, mais je t'imagine :
les yeux pétillants de rage, les muscles contractés, les veines saillantes.
je reste caché.
je profite.
je me délecte.
allez, casse-toi, c'est pas toi qu'il veut.


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« he's name's neo? ... sounds like a hipster name, or idk, is he emo? i don't even know him but i already want to tear his face off, damn
- haha, calm down babe, he has nothing to do in my life anymore
- i hope so, because now i have to do you
- ... okay i'm playing goodbye
- YOU FUCKHEAD YOU JUST TURNED YOUR PC ON I HATE YOU EAT ME
- lalalalala hello guys how you doin'
- ISAAC FROM THE FOUNTAIN I'M GONNA CUT YOUR BALLS
- LALALALALLALALALA I CAn'T HEAR YOUUUUU »

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PostSubject: Re: leomil   Sun 10 Jul - 0:31

STREAM ON
... okay i'm playing goodbye
- YOU FUCKHEAD YOU JUST TURNED YOUR PC ON I HATE YOU EAT ME
- lalalalala hello guys how you doin'
- ISAAC FROM THE FOUNTAIN I'M GONNA CUT YOUR BALLS
- LALALALALLALALALA I CAn'T HEAR YOUUUUU
(on chat)
< who is it ? >
< gf?? >
< lol hes getting rekt by his gf >
< but she got quite a deep voice >
emil: well in fact hes my bf
< what >
< u gay? >
< AWWWW >
< SO CUTE >
< loooool getting rekt by his bf >
< what happened >
< OOOOH >
< :) :) :) >
emil: yes well whatever hes angry

< LOOOL >
< tell us >
< whaaat >
tony: ISAAC DE FONTAYNE FUCK MEEE
emil: bae could you pleASE SHUT THE FUCK UP IM FUCKING PLAYING FFS
< LMAO GO GET HIM >
< DO HIM >
< make him shut his mouth!! lol >
< lol >
< loooool >
< lmao >
emil: lol i'd like to but
tony: ISAAAAAAC ISAAC ISAAC ISAAC ISAAAAAAAAC
< his voice is so cute >
< dO HIM! >
< dont forget to cut the stream lol >
< let us the sounnnnnd rofl >
< SUCK HIM OFF >
< dw youll stream a 24H rush for us 2morrow we can wait >
< NO DONT STOP >
< ewwwww >
< hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh >
emil: wHAT THE FUCK GUYS LMAOO
tony: see they want it too
emil: sHUT UP sorry ily dont be mad
< LOOOOOL >
tony: ISAAC IMMA BLOW YOU RIGHT NOW TURN IT OFF OR ILL BE
/stream off

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PostSubject: Re: leomil   Sun 10 Jul - 0:59

« stpppp va racheter des chewing-guuuums j'ferais c'que tu veuuuux baeeee » rien que pour c'te dernière phrase, j'irais, sale con. regardes-toi, tu crèves de chaud, t'es une loque, et ça m'oblige à être pareil hhhh. « d'acc, tu feras ce que je veux, je retiens » je me lève d'un seul coup, j'prends une clope et le porte-monnaie. maintenant 'faut descendre les 3 étages sa mère la pute, j'y pense pas et j'y vais d'un coup. j'ignore la connasse de voisine, le voisin bourré et les pédés du rez-de-chaussée. j'ouvre la porte d'un coup sec, la clope au bec, et j'tombe nez à nez avec mon meilleur pote, la tête de con, tout ce qui est synonyme de la débilité. j'fais même pas d'efforts, je le tue du regard, je vais pas gâcher un putain de sourire pour ce type. pendant un instant, qui semble durer une putain d'éternité, on s'fixe, mais parle débile, ça se voit que t'as un truc, qu'est-ce que tu fous devant chez moi, merde mais dégage quoi « ... salut » il est pas sérieuuuux ce fils de puuuute je vais le défoncer putain mais « yo. » je vais pas pouvoir me retenir longtemps, ça me démange, je veux tellement le tuer que aaaaah faut pas faut pas pour isaac pour isaac « tu penses encore qu'emil t'aime, sérieux?
- attends attends, quoi? mec, tu débarques maintenant pour dire de la merde comme ça? wow, jte pensais pas si pathétique
- ferme ta gueule, tu le connais même pas, tu sais même pas avec qui tu traînes, tu-
- non mais cherche pas gamin, c'est pas parce que tu lui a donné sa première sodomie que vous deux ça sera pour la vie, va chier, va crever dans un coin j'sais pas mais pointe pas ta sale gueule devant chez moi mec c'est mort, juste mort, jte revois je t'éclate le nez en fait, donc va niquer ta mère, bye.
sec, brusque, violent, putain c'que je m'aime comme ça. j'suis parti d'un coup, je pouvais pas rester plus longtemps, mon isaac devait s'impatienter pour ses malabars de gamin, alors je me suis bougé le cul.
et je me suis même pas retourné, 'faut pas abuser.

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PostSubject: Re: leomil   Sun 10 Jul - 1:19

Dear fucking Isaac,
damn you know i'm not a good writer, but you told me that receiving letters was something you loved, so here is a love letter. i hope you're having a great journey in england, baby. i miss this country, somehow. french people are.. i don't know.. il sont idiotes? fuck i don't know okay whatever you already know what i'm thinking of FRANCE anyway.
i miss you. so. fucking. hella. putain. much. the first day, i slept like, for 12 hours??? i woke up, and thought i was dead or somethin like that, you weren't next to me and i immediately thought it as a fucking nightmare. i tried your games, wtf, it was all in french i've never been so lost in my life, and i think i've erased your saves, sorry not sorry
are you happy in england? i hope so because I'M FUCKING NOT i'm dying please come back look wtf i'm writing something for you feel honored shithead, i'm so tired that writing "isaac" is painful, like it's 4am right here, but i don't feel like sleeping, i feel like lovin, and i'm listening to lady gaga right now is she real??? i mean what the fuck is the problem with her outfits she's no human i'm laughing so hard shit i'm high and so tired but just guess the song with my drawing ---->
you know what? i've seen neo stayin in front of our flat like two times. i've thought of throwing bananas on his shitty face, but naaah, ain't going to spoil precious bananas for this twat, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN nanithefuck (appreciating the drawing skills rn, i'm a fucking artist, praise me)
i feel really gay gay for you aaah i miss your face i can stop writing because there's so much i want to say with you, i miss your lips too, i hope you'll smile reading this because i'm not even realizing what i'm writing right now but who cares right



okay i just saw what i wrote wtf i was not that fine last night
it's thursday, 13pm here, my head is still full of you
i deeply love you, wanker
kisses, love, don't forget my dick
je t'aime

LEON

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PostSubject: Re: leomil   Sun 10 Jul - 11:57

Emil looked away as if he was dreaming, far from Leo who was looking at him, holding the photos he found in their bedroom. "tbh, neo was extraordinary" Emil started and Leo felt his heart breaking "but you were unreal.
between reality where is neo
and my dreams where you are
i'd rather stay asleep for more than a hundred years
bc i'll be able to live what i've always hoped for" lol. could we just
lol
lol
isaac
fucking isaac. "thats not the question. i mean dude you were just all lovely and what i can't find the words to express my disgust toward you now that ive seen you with him and and"
"tony, listen." isaac was so calm and relax tony thought he didn't care at all about his feelings. "fuck, no." isaac turned back to him and tried to catch his eyes. "tony. i love you." fuck him. fuck his eyes. fuck his fucking beautiful eyes. fuck his voice. fuck his deep and fucking sexy voice. "not him tony. but you." and all these fuck keep spinning around tony's head. "then how can you (fucking) keep all these (fucking) photos with him?" isaac stopped instantanetly. he looked at him with big eyes. tony knew he wasn't supposed to go through his bedroom's side without telling him as he hated it. "photos? you found them ?" for fucks sake, please, get mad. get angry. don't stay so cool. don't stay so calm. i'm gonna go berserk in a few seconds and you're still relax as fuck. "yeah like you were keeping a secret from me, how could you not tell me about these?"
"see the result? you're mad as fuck."
"yeah so what"
"i didn't want it to happened"
"aND WHY"
"BC I DONT WANT YOU TO BE MAD"
"NOW I AM WHAT WILL YOU DO"
"FOR FUCKS SAKE TONY KEEP CALM THESE ARE JUST PHOTOS"
"YOU LOOK MORE HAPPY WITH HIM THAN WITH ME AND IT GOT ME I DONT KNOW THE FUCK, I MEAN, LOOK AT ME, JUST FUCKING LOOK AT ME AND ONLY ME, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOOK AT ME LIKE YOU LOOKED AT HIM"

emil stared a him for a long time and he sighed. in Tony's pounding heart, he didn't know what isaac was going to do and he got even more afraid of what could happened. the blonde-haired guy took his hands and wrapped them into his, as he was looking into his eyes. tony could feel he was more than annoyed by his behavior, but he just couldn't stay like this, looking at his boyfriend stuck in his past. he was here with him and there was nothing else to say.

"dw bae", the way he said it drove tony crazy, "i love you more than i've ever loved him" he was so serious when saying it tony felt his heart getting flustered.
"prove it" as if he was provokating it, he talked normally with a bit of anger, as if he didn't care at all about what isaac was saying to him. truth is that.
"i. love. you. more. than. him." isaac tore up the photos with Neo one by one, tearing their hug, their kiss, their smile, their friends. he was tearing them apart while looking at tony, stunned by his way of doing things : hard, clearly and without hesitation. "i love you. see? these are nothing. alright?"
tony stammered "but these were so precious for you to keep them i mean dude why did you"
isaac took off a cigarette from his pocket and lighted it. "so what?"
tony's mind got blank for a second before isaac said softly "these were, right? these are not. you don't want me to be stuck in the past with Neo's picture by my side, i know it by the way you got mad just by looking at them. if you don't like it, i can just throw them away. its not as if he was important now that you are here, don't be so complicated for such a simple matter."
"but
but isaac
he was important
he was
your ex
your first love
the first one to ever kiss you
thats unforgettable right?
please
don't stop pretending he's not important anymore to you
i know you still like him
but
i want to believe your words
when you said you loved me while tearing all your souvenirs together
i know you like photos and taking pictures
and when you did it
i just
couldn't express
my happiness
my selfish happiness
bc you told me i was the only one."

isaac took another track from his cigarette and took tony in his arms. tony clunged tightly to him in order to not let isaac go away from him.

"i love you."
"i know."
"you're a dick."
"you like mine."
"kiss my arse."
"with pleasure."

and tony laughed as he kissed him onto his mouth.

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PostSubject: Re: leomil   Mon 11 Jul - 1:20

TONY : fuck me
ISAAC : no
TONY :

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PostSubject: Re: leomil   Thu 14 Jul - 23:00

t : keep clicking
i : okay
t : SLOW DOWN WE'LL MISS THE FUCK-SCENES
i : okay
t : i can hear moans
i : me too fuck it's been 1 hour and still no dicks what is this
t : AH I CAN SEE A PUSSY
i : AH
t : AH
i : AH
t : ... what is he doin
i : ... in ... her ass..?
t : GO ON YOU CUNT SUCK IT
i : it's fucking disgusting dude
t : YEH WRAP YOUR TONGUE AROUND IT YEH
i : IT'S DISGUSTING LEO
t : it's LOVE
i : no it's anal
t : it's ANAL LOVE
i : ...
t : shhhhhhh i'm sure you anal-love me
i : stfu
t : AH
i : AH
t : AH
i : AH
t : .. it's over?
i : ..
t : uninstall that shit it wasn't even hot
i : .. ???? you screamed all game long
t : i'm gonna make you scream

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PostSubject: Re: leomil   Thu 14 Jul - 23:20

he turned off his computer. at this point, tony knew he had won. isaac was silently gazing at him. suddenly, he ran to tony, grabbed his waist and met his lips. passion, impetuosity, love : a french kiss to chaos. he danced with his tongue, tony was caressing his cheeks, neck, shoulders, torso, pelvis. their whispers melt under their fingers. tony realised how much he loved him when he does that. his touch felt like heaven. isaac was kissing a long path invented on ton'y neck. he pulled their clothes off, pushing tony against the wall. containing his groans, tony felt like dying when isaac combined their bodies.
it was heaven.
it was fucking heaven.
and they were two demons trapped in a cloud.

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